The Forever Wound

This blog is not what it might seem to be, in the beginning of it. Read on.........


It was not something I expected. Not even something I would have imagined or predicted. A morning like every other was to become the first step into a deeper reality. A deeper understanding of God.


Since my 'death' in 1974 the entirety of my life has been a quest for Divine Union with God. To have been in that Presence and been 'put back' into this reality created such a dichotomy within me that, honestly, I had no choice but to chase the dream, so to speak. With that quiet voice as my constant companion, I followed every step asked of me. I ended up marveling over the degree of pain that I experienced by following what I call Divine Direction. It was, of course, a question in my mind. Why did the quest for God lead to such extreme pain? What was I meant to learn? And as the experiences grew in intensity, the question became almost moot. It is what it is until it isn't any more.

When I thought I had experienced the worst of the worst I think God must have shaken his finger at me with a 'no no no' gesture. Unfortunately, I didn't see that and so walked unknowingly into something that annihilated me completely. Of course it was meant to be. It was my destiny. And if I'd seen it coming of course I would have run the other way. But I wasn't meant to run the other way. I was meant to discover that the soul can be wounded and the soul can be scarred. I had not known that prior to my run-in with the most extreme pain God had to dole out. I spent two years trying to get to the lesson and understanding. And it was such an ah-ha moment when God touched me, on this morning, and explained, that I knew my life, possibly my soul, would never be the same.



I felt His Presence in a way I'd never felt it before. So physically in the room that every atom of my body reacted. I actually felt the cells inside me shift and change as they absorbed the truth that a visitation like no other was taking place. I stepped into my internal silence in a way I hadn't done in years and simply listened.

"There are wounds that change the soul. Yes. Every soul will encounter them. The quest for Oneness with God, for understanding of God, demands it. And every soul will survive it. Yes.

"It is not the dying of a loved one, for all souls are eternal and will meet again. It is not the loss of riches. It is not the hunger, the sickness, the murder, or the greed. It is not the expected pain.

"It is the experience of giving the gift of God through the love you offer and finding out that it has no value. It is not that you have no value, for that is a lie and is based upon the human experience, illusion, ego, and falsities of that temporary experience. It is the utter abandonment of all things temporary and the offering of all things eternal; and that offering receives not only a blind eye but an action akin to killing a soul. It is those moments when you offer the Infinite Soul and another Infinite Soul knowingly destroys with actions of non-love."

"Can you tell me why such an experience is necessary in order to know God?" I asked quietly.

"How can you know God if you do not know the scars of God? The scars that come when one Child can utterly disregard another Child of God. The scars of God when only Love is offered ... but remains unseen.

"One would be oblivious to Truth if one thought that existence and all of its events do not impact the Presence of God. If all is energy, and all energy impacts all energy, how could one assume that God is not impacted as well?"

The Voice grew quieter than a whisper. "God offers only love. How often is that accepted? All suffering caused by one Child upon another would end if all Children knew the love God offers. Can anyone possibly believe that God does not see the Child who turns away from the love of God that is offered?"



The words will forever echo in my soul. "How can you know God if you do not know the scars of God?"

Scars caused by indifference.

God is not indifferent.













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